"Struggle I must, my inner suffering is life

for my inner pain gives me enough strength to write."

-The Depths of My Soul, 'I Am The Observer, a Lonely Soul Am I' 

I've been asked many times about the cryptic words of the Observer on the last page of my first book, The Depths of My Soul. In "A Lonely Soul Am I", the Observer conveys the dark feelings of loneliness, something I've had to deal with for a long time now. Although my life has changed as far as how I'm viewed by the general public, it doesn't mean my feelings of self or of the world change automatically. The Observer in this piece is only expressing his thoughts on paper about how lost he is when he’s alone. Even the greatest writers and poets have had to deal with the emptiness during the rough periods in their lives. Shakespeare, Hemingway, and even our modern 21st Century writers had to endure. Their words are defined by the amount of suffering they received.               

Case in point: there is a scene near the end of the Five Heartbeats where Donald or  ‘Duck’, the writer of songs for the group receives an award. In his acceptance speech, Donald mentions he once heard someone telling him he’ll be a great writer ‘when he has suffered enough’. The truth is, one cannot be great without hardship. Greatness isn’t based on how many awards, sports championships, or political victories won. It’s determined by the willingness to suffer for a cause, a dream, anything you desire out of life that’s just and true, then having the courage to persevere throughout the hardship. That’s what greatness is.               

A great person is one who anticipates suffering will occur at some point in his or her life. They embrace shortcomings, because he or she knows it won’t last forever. The true catharsis is the release of talent, of insight and kept deep within the bowels of your mind. This is not to say the Observer is great, at least on what we measure it by. He is on that journey towards greatness. It doesn’t matter what his station in life shall be; he knows at the end of the journey, his reward will be tenfold.